5 signs of death

source http://firstaid.about.com/od/cpr/qt/10_Signs_of_Death.htm

you'd think the general population would be able to figure out how to tell if someone is dead or not, but appearently not. the rate of death misdiagnosis has been rising recently, and the other day in china, a man died in a cafe, and nobody noticed for 9 HOURS! thus the 5 signs of death. here are the 5 signs and 5 sarcastic responses.

1) Decapitation... You dont say?

2) Decompisition. No the guy with the maggots falling out of his nose is just fine.

3) Postmortem levidity. For most of you, postmortem levidity is when the blood stops flowing. i cant really think of anything funny to say about that without sounding desperate so heres a picture of a dog in a hat: http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/innocent/innocent1005/innocent100500200/7049779-big-wrinkled-dog-in-rastafarian-hat.jpg

4) Rigor mortis, or postmortem regidity. Again, i cant think of a good joke so here's a scene that is every horror mover EVER. http://images.wikia.com/zeropunctuation/images/1/1f/Too_Human_3.png

5) Burned beyond recognition. im not too sure about this one, i've seen some burn victims on Oprah that were pretty unrecognizable. i personally was not watching Oprah, i was just in the same room.

really, if we're to the point where people cant tell if someone's dead or not, we're doomed. here is an accurate representation on that doom: http://zeropunctuation.wikia.com/wiki/File:Paper_Mario_1.png